A Source of Light
by Akatsuki Child
Summary: Nico can feel the shadows tearing him apart, consuming his very being. He feels cold and distant, becoming the very thing he travelled through. Maybe the darkness was always within him. But after meeting Will, he's discovered someone to tether himself too. A reason to fight the shadows. Solangelo.


**This was inspired when I re-read some quotes from the Blood of Olympus. I decided to put in those quotes with each section that they inspired. I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own PJO/HoO or any of the quotes taken from the Blood of Olympus! It all belongs to Rick Riordan!**

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 **A Source of Light**

"… _Nico started to dissolve the moment he shadow-jumped. His limbs turned to vapor. Cold seeped into his chest. Voices of spirits whispered in his ears:_ _Help us. Remember us. Join us…_ " – _Blood of Olympus,_ p. 415.

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Things weren't going so well for Nico.

He'd been doing a lot of legwork for his father, dealing with ghosts and doing miscellaneous jobs on his behalf. Nico didn't mind the work—it kept him busy, kept him moving. He wasn't the type to stay in one place for very long. He loved his home at Camp Half-Blood, but he knew when he'd been sedentary for too long because he would become restless. Almost like there was an itch he couldn't quite scratch.

Lately, however, the work had been piling up.

Running the afterlife wasn't an easy job to begin with, and Nico's father wasn't always the most… _understanding_ , especially when it came to Nico's human limits. He needed to eat. He needed to sleep. _Gods_ did he need to sleep. Especially with all the shadow-travelling he'd been doing.

That was the root of his current problem.

Sitting alone in his cabin, the shades pulled down on the windows, Nico sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. It was a rather nice day out, the sun shining behind puffy white clouds that dotted the sky. But Nico could have cared less. He didn't want to be out there with all the people. He just wanted to be by himself.

With all the work he'd been doing with his father, he'd been shadow-travelling a lot. One day he'd be in Florida, the next day he would find himself in northern Michigan. It had taken him a few hours to get to Alaska, mostly because he'd been so tired from previous work that he'd had to take a break in order to travel the distance.

He was dog-tired. But that wasn't the only problem with shadow-travelling.

Nico could always tell when he'd been overdoing it. It would start off with a drop in his mood. He wouldn't call himself the most optimistic or outgoing person anyways, however he would participate if called upon or contribute if need be. But after shadow-travelling, he found himself becoming apathetic. More distant. Angry. Angry at the people around him, angry with himself. He would feel it coursing through his veins, his fists twitching to reach out and strike something.

Shadowing-travelling wasn't like riding in a car or hopping on a Pegasus. In a sense, the shadows he travelled through were an extension of the Underworld. It was like jumping from one dimension to the other, and that kind of travel…well, it would affect anyone.

This wasn't the first time he'd felt horrible, and this certainly wasn't the worst case. The worst he'd felt was when he'd shadow-travelled the Athena Parthenos. He'd had to move such a large object over a large distance, something he'd never done before. After the first couple jumps, it had been like closing his eyes and pointing to a random spot on a map, hoping they were going in the right direction. The journey had sucked the energy from him, turning him into something he never wanted to be again.

He remembered that feeling of his limbs evaporating, his very being unraveling. He'd felt the icy cold seeping into his chest, his mind clouding over, the spirits whispering to him, _pleading_ for him to join them. He'd been close to the brink, the shadows overcoming his soul, like they'd done for most of his life.

It would have been so easy to give in. He could have let himself dissolve into nothingness. On days like this, he still believed he could. Sitting on his bed, all alone, he could hear the faint whispers of the spirits, playing in his mind like a broken record. He could feel that coldness. He could sense the darkness coming towards him, coming from _within_ him, unfolding and multiplying, spreading through him like some rampant disease.

His long, thin fingers moved up his forehead, threading through his dark locks and gripping the strands. He could feel himself slipping away, falling through the cracks.

The whispers were growing louder.

The shadows were becoming heavier.

The cold spread through his body, the anger dissipating into nothingness along with his essence, his soul. He closed his eyes, waiting for the darkness to overtake him. He could feel the despair, the emptiness. It was an ever-present shadow, looming over, ready to snatch him at a moment's notice. It would happen anytime now…

Three knocks on the door broke the spell he'd been in.

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" _But if you're planning to shadow-travel to that command tent, forget it."_

 _Nico glared at him. "Excuse me?"_

 _He expected Will to flinch or look away. Most people did. But Will's blue eyes stayed fixed on his—annoyingly determined. "…You can't try that again…. I'm a healer. I could feel the darkness in your hand as soon as I touched it…. One more slip, and you won't come back. You are not shadow-traveling. Doctor's orders." – Blood of Olympus, p. 418_

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"Hey, Nico? Are you up yet?"

Nico's eyes snapped open at the sound of Will Solace's voice. The whispers hushed, fading to silence. The shadows edged back a bit, releasing their suffocating grip on him. He breathed in slow, feeling fresh air fill his lungs. His fingers loosened their grip on his hair. He felt the anger and despair fall out of him.

Lifting his head up, he stared at the door for a second, like he'd imagined the whole thing. Then, with legs stiff, he forced himself into a standing position, forced his legs to move forward.

He pulled the door open and a streak of sunlight poured into the dark cabin, cutting through the shadows.

Nico squinted at Will through the sunlight. Looking at Will was like looking at the sun.

"Hey!" Will exclaimed, a smile gracing his face. "You're up!"

"Have been for a while," Nico grunted in response. The truth was he hadn't actually slept that night. But Will didn't need to know that.

Will's smile faltered. His blue eyes scanned Nico's face, noting the defensive posture, the dark shadows under his eyes, his tangled hair. He could practically sense the darkness threatening him, standing a foot away.

Will moved his head, catching Nico's gaze. "Nico?" he asked hesitantly. "Is…are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine," Nico snapped, glaring. The anger ignited in him quickly, the shadows crawling about him again.

Will jumped at his outbreak, his heart skipping a beat from a brief moment of fear—not for himself, but for his dear friend.

Seeing Will's reaction sparked a different kind of anger within Nico—an anger with himself that was so strong, he'd never felt it before. It made him feel horrible—worse than the shadows that were constantly threatening him.

He wasn't angry with Will. He never, _ever_ wanted to hurt Will, or make him feel unappreciated. Will had helped him more than once with his problem, the most note-worthy being the time they'd met up during the war with Gaea, and Will had convinced him to find an alternative to his shadow-travelling. Will was continuously putting trust and faith into Nico, and he wasn't about to let himself ruin their relationship.

Nico shoved the darkness away, forcing his mind to focus. He sighed, running a hand down his face. "I'm sorry, Will," he mumbled, looking up apologetically. "I've been…struggling."

Will nodded in understanding. It was apparent from his stance and his expression that there had been no real harm done from his outburst. Will knew the toll shadow-travelling took on Nico, and it scared him that one day he might not be able to ever bring his friend back from that brink of darkness. But he wouldn't give up. He would keep fighting for his friend, even when he wouldn't.

Smiling lightly, Will held out his hand. "Come to lunch with me?"

Nico stared at the offered hand. Here was this bright being, this source of warmth and light, offering him a chance to climb up from the pit of darkness he'd fallen into. Will continuously tried to help him, tried to pull him back from the edge.

A source of light in his perpetual darkness.

Nico glanced behind him, back into the dark cabin. He could easily refuse the offer. He could slip back to the whispers, slip back into the despair and the anger and the promise of emptiness and nothingness.

Or he could make his life mean something. He could put some trust back into Will. He could continue living.

Nico reached out, grasping Will's warm hand. He pulled the cabin door shut behind him, effectively shutting out the shadows. Will sucked in a sharp breath, feeling the intense darkness emitting from Nico's soul. It caused him to grasp Nico's hand tighter, pulling him just a little bit closer. Without even thinking, Nico held back just as tight, holding onto his lifeline.

Will gave him a bright, encouraging smile. The action caused Nico's heart to race, pounding hard against his ribcage. A warmth spread throughout his veins, eradicating the darkness.

This wasn't the first time Nico had been threatened by the shadows, and it certainly wasn't going to be the last. But with Will by his side, he was confident he could continue to fight them.

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" _I am Nico di Angelo, son of Hades. I control the shadows. They do not control me." – Blood of Olympus, p. 415._

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 **So there you go! I hope you guys liked it. Let me know what you thought about incorporating the quotes with this story. I debated about leaving them in or taking them out, but in the end I think they helped the pace of the story. Let me know what you think!**

 **Thanks for reading and please review!**

 **-Akatsuki Child**


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